raisedinthesmoke:

Rabbit had started to shiver quite violently in the last few moments, shock combining with his wet clothes and the cold ground starting to lower his body temperature, which wasn’t a good sign for his condition and made it all the more imperative to move him from that spot.

“J-just do it,” he muttered, avoiding eye contact again, wanting to get whatever it entailed out of the way so that his ordeal would end faster if he could help it.

Silently, she wiggled closer and wrapped an arm around him. Normally, it didn’t phase her at all to do this, but the moment they reappeared in her bedroom, she was rolling away from him and trying not to puke. Of course, the rapid motion really hadn’t helped with the feeling.

“Are you…are you okay?” she asked weakly, unable to turn to check on him just yet.

raisedinthesmoke:

“Any worse than dying?” he sniffled, chewing the inside of his lip to try to get some control over his emotional state and failing miserably.

Even in the state he was in now, he knew he was angry beneath the trauma and the pain, and what little trust he might have had in Vega before he got shot was gone, Rabbit already deciding it was her fault, which wasn’t entirely unjustified, but placing blame wasn’t going to help anyone right now.

“I don’t think so. But I don’t have a real frame of reference, just what my dad’s said on it.” She hadn’t exactly told him that her dad was a resurrection case too, but now seemed as good a time as any she supposed.

raisedinthesmoke:

Rabbit forced himself to nod, his jaw clenching and screwing his eyes shut tight momentarily as he admitted defeat. He didn’t know what she meant by getting him out without making him move, but no amount of him trying to wish himself anywhere else would make it happen without her help, and he only hoped it wasn’t something that was anywhere near as traumatic as dying and being brought back.

“I have to touch you to do it,” she added, needing to get him to understand what she was doing. “It’s basically teleportation and it can be really disorienting to someone that’s never experienced it before,” she explained. It probably wasn’t going to help his mental state any but it was all she had that she could actually do for him.

raisedinthesmoke:

Rabbit knew she was right, but he felt like he couldn’t will his body to move on his own, even though he didn’t want to be touched either. The fight had gone out of him though, and if Vega made any attempt to encourage him to get up, he wouldn’t put up any struggle.

He watched her hand move closer and stop short of touching him but he did nothing to reciprocate other than give Vega another pitiful, pleading look.

“I can get you out of here without you having to actually move. And then I can just all Eli to come over and see you to check you out?” she offered, not entirely sure she could manage it without passing out as soon as they got to her home.

raisedinthesmoke:

“I can’t leave.”

Rabbit’s voice sounded hopeless and distant, almost as though the response was automatic, not a conscious reply.

If he were in a better frame of mind, he’d explain that he couldn’t go anywhere because the rest of the crew would notice him missing and either send out a search party, which could result in more lives being lost if there were more enemies out there, or they’d assume he was dead, especially if they found the pool of blood on the roof and the drag marks leading from it.

“You can’t stay here like this.”

If anyone saw him coated in blood like that with the bullet holes in the front and back of his shirt, it would be a hard explain. There was just no way it would go over very well. 

She reached out for his hand, stopping short and hesitating before deciding to just leave her hand outstretching a little. If he took it, that was his choice and not something she forced on him. Unlike the whole being alive again thing.

raisedinthesmoke:

Rabbit looked absolutely miserable as he lay there, seemingly inconsolable, though his gaze did drift toward her at the apology, an unfathomable sadness behind the tears before he turned away again.

On some level, he was aware that staying where he was wasn’t a good idea in the long term, especially if the blood on his clothes started to dry, but getting him to move of his own volition in such a traumatised state posed its own set of challenges.

“Please let me take you somewhere safe. Please. I can’t just leave you here,” she begged quietly, trying to get through to him even a little. 

“If I take you to my place, you can get cleaned up in the really nice shower and then just…have my bed for the night. Please, please just let me get you out of here.”

raisedinthesmoke:

He didn’t answer, staring blindly through tears, his crying oddly quiet but hysterical at the same time. Seeing him in such a state made him look so much younger than the 6 foot tall twenty two year old he was, giving a glimpse at the lost and scared boy inside that had been forced to grow up far too young.

The look on his face was one of broken defeat, tears cutting tracks in the dirt and blood on his skin, smearing together in an awful mess that paled in comparison to the one his mind was in.

At his silence, Vega crept a little closer, the need to just take care of him overriding the lingering ache of his earlier words. If he pushed her away, she’d back off, but right now she just needed to make sure he was okay.

Her movements were slow as she curled up next to him, just closed enough to touch without pushing his limits any further at the moment.

“I’m sorry…”

raisedinthesmoke:

“Away from you!”

The words came out as a mix of a growl and whimper, a clear indicator of his distress and how quickly he was unravelling as he hurried to climb down the ladder, getting around two-thirds of the way down before he lost his grip and slipped, falling the rest fo the way.

He landed heavily, the impact triggering a reflex memory of the gunshot that had killed him, sending a momentary spasm of panic and pain through him that crumbled the last of his self control and had him breaking down into tears as he gave in and lay down on the ground, curling into the fetal position and letting out a choked sob.

His answer made her ache, but she stayed at the top of the ladder. She had planned on letting him have a little bit of distance and just trailing after him to make sure he was okay, but then he fell and her resolve shattered. 

It took her less time to get down the wall and she crouched close to him, but stayed out of reach despite how much she wanted to curl around him. “Rabbit..?” 

raisedinthesmoke:

She was probably right that he needed medical attention, but Rabbit’s focus wasn’t on that right now. Besides, how could he even begin to try to explain what had happened what he was feeling as a result when he didn’t even understand it himself.

The feeling of his blood-soaked clothes sticking to his skin was almost unbearable to him as he moved to climb down the ladder, making him want to tear them off and scrub his skin until the sensation went away. He doubted no amount of scrubbing his skin raw would get rid of the other feelings though. Had he really died? And if so, what did that make him now? Everything he thought he knew about the world had been pissed up a wall in an instant and he didn’t know how to handle it.

After a few moments, she sort of crawled after him, cautious but still terribly worried. “Where…Where are you going? I’m supposed to…I’m supposed to make sure you’re okay…” 

She already felt like she was a failure. He had died and it had been her fault. His current emotional state was also her fault. She was the worst guardian ever and now.. Now he hated her and she couldn’t exactly say she blamed him.