ofviolentdeath:

shestole:

“We are just too pretty for God to let us die.”
“Next time you want to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.”
“They say never hit a man with a closed fist but it is, on occasion, hilarious.”
“Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket.”
“If anyone gets nosy, just … you know … shoot ‘em. — Politely.”
“Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ‘em right back!”
“I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.”
“Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle.”
“I aim to misbehave.”
“Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”
“I’ve been under fire before. Well, I’ve been in a fire. Actually, I was fired.”
“How did your brain even learn human speech?”
“Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything…”
“I am a leaf on the wind; watch how I soar.”
“Ten percent of nothin’ is, let me do the math here; nothin’ into nothin’, carry the nothin’…”
“You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who’s in ruttin charge here.”
“Time for some thrillin’ heroics.”
“Also, I can kill you with my brain.”
“No power in the ‘verse can stop me.”
“I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.”
“When you can’t run, you crawl. And when you can’t crawl, when you can’t do that— you find someone to carry you.”

“I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.”
“This moment is so great I’d cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of little moments!”
“People aren’t chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.”
“Do you want me to order you a clown?”
“Sex is for making babies and revenge”
“Too much ha-ha, pretty soon boo-hoo.”
“I miss you so much it hurts sometimes”
“Being such a mess that your friends don’t even ask for your help? That’s the bottom of the barrel.”
“Who the hell cares about what anyone else thinks? Just look into your heart and do whatever the hell makes you happy.”
“I’m changing you to a ‘yes’ because you’re feisty.”
“And I want you to know, if I had the choice of hanging out with anyone in the entire world, or sitting at home with you, eating a pizza, watching a crappy TV show, I’d choose you every time.”
“You seem unhappy. I like that.”
“But since your mother brought you into the world, I do have a message for her uterus. Bad uterus! Don’t do that anymore.”
“Oh, that’s adorable, you have a crush on yourself. I’d be careful, the guy you’re in love with is a douche.”
“I don’t dislike you. I nothing you.”
“Have you ever looked at yourself and wished you were different in every single way?”
“And if I seem uninterested, it’s only because I have no idea why you would like me”
“I hope you die in a violent death and bugs eat your corpse!”
“You kids use the word HATE so much that I have to find a new word to describe how I feel about others. Hmmmm, I mega-loathe you.”
“Nothing in this world worth having comes easy.”
“You make me want to kill myself and everybody around me.”
“Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around.”
“The truth is, it’s all of your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person.”
“You’re scared because if you try and fail, there’s only you to blame”
“Men don’t faint, We take unintended decisive naps.”
“I always assumed growing up was just something that happened as you got older… but it’s really something you have to choose to do.”
“Sometimes the only way to take a really good look at yourself is through someone else’s eyes.”