Day: March 6, 2018

mythsandmonsters:

A few tears spilled over but Isaac was still holding back most of the flood of his emotions. He’d already done enough mourning while he was dead, so now his grief was mostly as silent as his pain over the trauma he had suffered and he was past the point where letting it out would do any good right now.

Instead, he let out another huge sigh and attempted to pull himself back together, the effort tiring but necessary.

Anya wiped the tears away gently, frowning softly. She could see him trying to pull himself together and, while she understood keeping a strong face in front of the kids, he still needed to get his emotions out too.

“Hey, don’t do that, not with me. Bottling your pain is only going to make it worse, Isaac.”

mythsandmonsters:

“Lost so many. Too many to count.”

His heart was heavy over the fact, but he knew he had to fight for the ones who survived, and for Parker. That kid had already lost too much, including himself, already, and he sure as hell wouldn’t want to take any of those pups or Anya down with him if he fell a second time.

“I know, but you’re not alone anymore. You don’t have to try to protect them all by yourself. And no one is going to take the babies that survived away from you. Jeff is still looking for others and he won’t stop until he’s found all of them for you.”

She was trying her best to comfort him, but she had no idea what he was going through. He had been the biggest loss she had ever suffered and he was back now, so her wounds were healing. She pressed a kiss to both of his cheeks before kissing his forehead again, needing to help him feel even a little better.

mythsandmonsters:

“Couldn’t save all of them.” He sighed sadly, his voice cracking as he got a little tearful.

That was his biggest regret overall, that of the literal dozens of pups he’d fathered, only a fraction had survived childhood, and fewer still long enough to be saved. It hurt all the more that it had taken someone else entirely to set his family free and give him a second chance, not that he was ungrateful for it. He just felt that in dying, he had failed to protect and save them himself.

“Honey, no one could have saved them all,” she murmured, hating that she had to say it. “But the ones that did make it out are safe. One of them is alive because of you from what I’ve been told. They all have such a long road ahead of them and you get to be there to help them now. Mourn the ones you’ve lost, but don’t let the grief consume you to the point of not being able to care for the ones you still have, okay?”

mythsandmonsters:

It hadn’t even been a problem until Anastazia had gotten pregnant. Up until that point, he still could have walked away unscathed, but the moment he knew he was going to be a father, he couldn’t abandon his pups, especially not into that family. He knew they would have been tortured and killed just for being born.

“Only wanted to keep my kids safe. Nothing else I could do.”

She leaned up to press a kiss to his forehead before dropping down enough to nuzzle at his cheek. He had been good to Parker after the boy had lost his own parents so she wasn’t surprised at all by the steps Isaac had taken for his own kids. 

“I know, Isaac. You’re a good man and a good father. There is so much of you in those kids.”

mythsandmonsters:

Got too involved. Took stupid risks.”

He wouldn’t let her argue him down on that. He had a lot of regrets and he knew that he only had himself to hold accountable for it, including what had happened to his children as a result, but as much as he regretted the circumstances in which they were born, he didn’t regret a single one of them existing. He’d never reveal the true number of how many children he’d actually lost though, even if that hadn’t been his fault.

“You know not everything is in our control,” she pointed out. Especially when it came to more instinctual things. She could fault him for not listening to her before things got too far, but she couldn’t blame him for getting caught up in it all in the long run. Especially when it came to things involving the mother of his eldest.

mythsandmonsters:

Isaac knew she was joking but it didn’t sting any less. He’d screwed up despite her warnings and that was on him to make up for it, especially now he had kids that he also owed being a father to.

“I let you down. ‘m sorry. Should have known better ‘n’ listened to you. Didn’ mean to.”

“Shhh, I know you didn’t mean to, Isaac. Trust me, I called you ever name in the fucking book when you went missing, but no amount of trying to be pissed at you made it any easier. You ought to see the pieces I ripped out of people for trying to “comfort” me over that. You’d never let me hear the end of it.”

She moved to face him, hands cupping his cheeks gently. “Jokes aside, I know you were trying to get answers for Parker and for the rest of the family. I know things got out of your hands and I’m guessing you panicked. I get it. None of that matters now though because you’re back, you’re here, and those kids love and need you.”

mythsandmonsters:

“You won’t.”

He would have promised like he alway did before, but he knew now that it wasn’t something he could guarantee after he broke that promise last time, and that broke his heart, especially as he had to acknowledge that he’d been wrong when she’d fretted about his safety before and he’d said it would never happen.

“Not make same mistakes twice.”

She wanted to ask him to promise, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Not after everything that had happened. That didn’t mean she didn’t believe him, but she knew there were things he would risk his life for. But they were the same things she would risk her own for, so it was hardly something anyone could fault him for.

“You better not. I still owe you an ass kicking for the last time,” she grumbled, trying to ease the tension with a rather tasteless joke.

mythsandmonsters:

Hearing those words had him pulling her into a firm and lingering hug that spoke more of his emotions over the whole subject as much as it was aimed at reassuring her and letting her know he’d missed her too.

“If this dream, don’t want to wake up this time.”

There was a pain in his words that carried how serious the statement was. He couldn’t imagine how much more it could hurt him to have this snatched away from him, but he knew he wouldn’t survive it, and the thought of dying again upset the hell out of him.

Anya curled against him at the hug, letting his scent wash over her. It was the most comforting thing, the realest part of it all. Dream didn’t have a scent to them.

“That makes two of us. I can’t…I can’t lose you again.”

Not that it really mattered since the woman that had brought him back and bound his life to her and vice versa. If he died, she died. Had one of them been even remotely mixed with something immortal, there would have been a chance for only one to be pulled under, but they were on the same level. It had been a risk she was more than willing to take because losing him once had nearly killed her anyway. If she had to go through it a second time, she didn’t think anything could keep her going.

mythsandmonsters:

He caught her looking at him and he smiled wearily, a murmured “What?” falling from his lips to ask what she was thinking when she looked at him like that. He could probably take an easy guess, but he’d rather hear her say it out loud, the affirmation of him really being there needed by both of them on some level.

She shook her head before reaching up to touch his face, fingers tracing over the edge of his features slowly. “Nothing. Just…I never thought I’d get to see you again but you’re really here. I just need to keep reminding myself that this is all real and not some dream.” Because she had had dreams of him coming home for years, even after she lost hope, and they had always made her heartache worse. 

“I missed you so much.”