“This is resting. I am not working, am I?” he replied, smiling sleepily at her. He would have liked to go back to work, but he wasn’t going to push himself just yet. Revenge could wait.
“You’re not going back to work until I say you can,” she grumbled, giving him a serious look. She wasn’t about to let him over do things while he was healing, not when she had just rescued his ass.
Lola giggled and nodded in agreement. She herself liked affection, but she wasn’t nearly as touchy-feely and Ben and Lyri were, preferring to keep most of her affection for people she knew extremely well and felt comfortable around.
“Ben weirder.” He had tried to dress her up but the fox girl, she couldn’t remember her name, had pushed him out of the room while rolling her eyes when Epiales had taken her there for dinner.
He snorted at that. “Right.” He couldn’t believe anyone would forgive his mother. That had been, after all, a reason she kept ending up entirely alone.
“Guess I’m no better than she is though.”
“It’s true.” Thanatos insisted, sitting down on the coffee table and laying a hand on Tassos’s shoulder.
“Your mother may have done some terrible things in the past, but she’s at least trying to do better now. Besides, we all have our flaws, myself included, and I recognize that I’m not completely without blame for the things that happened. And as for what you’ve done, I of all people am in no position to pass judgement on you for your absence. Not when that’s a trait you almost certainly inherited from me.”
He wanted so badly to lean into that small touch, but he shrugged it off instead. Too many years without touch and he didn’t think he deserved that.
“She’s insane. That’s hardly your fault,” he argued. Flawed was not a term Tass would have chosen. “You had an excuse. You had duties. I ran away like a fucking child when my family needed me.”
“You know how Ava stockpiles Hypnos’s dust?” He asked, the question seeming almost like a topic change. It wasn’t, but he was still trying to find out how to word it. “I was overdosed on that shit. Didn’t realize just how little was needed.”
“What, so you just went and put yourself in a coma for a few decades, is that it?”
Cam sounded like he didn’t believe the excuse, as plausible as it could easily have been, and as far as he was concerned, it was already an established fact in his head that Tass had just left them because he didn’t love them as much as he claimed.
“Not purpose! I just… Fuck, I didn’t want to wait around and see id Britt lived or died, Cam. She was my best friend and my son nearly killed her. Not to mention what him and Oona did to so many others in this family. I couldn’t handle it and I’m sorry, okay? I fucked up, I know that!” He was breaking apart at the seams, his self hatred spilling out as he tried to compose himself.
“So go ahead and hate me, Cam, because right now I doubt anyone could hate me more than I hate myself.”
The way it felt to be pressed to him, to have his lips on hers, it was the most home feeling for her. So many years of memories of moments like this. Sure, those memories were all without someone else’s blood, but she didn’t mind. All that mattered was how it felt to know she wouldn’t be leaving him this time. They couldn’t take her away again.
“I love you too,” she breathed out between dizzying kisses, her fingers tracing over the familiar lines of his body. If she could pick a moment to last a lifetime, it would be ones like this.
Teddy felt drunk on the moment, his kisses growing more greedy by the second as he pulled her against him and pinned her between him and tile wall as his hands roamed her curves needily.
He’d been reluctant to be intimate with her before now, afraid to let her get close in case it was all snatched away again, and it showed in his eagerness and the frantic, hungry way he moved now that he had no reason to hold back.
A small whine slipped from her lips as she tangled her fingers in his soaked curls. She wasn’t sure if it was the desperation of the moment or the pure physical memory, but nothing could come close to just how badly she wanted him.
One hand slipped free, her nails raking down the back of his neck as she pressed herself flush against him. She didn’t want him to hold back. She wanted all of him, the good and the bad.
Tass shrugged at that, not sure how much he believed it. He knew Lyri had forgiven their mother, but he still hated her. Almost as much as he hated himself.
“Yeah, tell me that again when anyone other than Lyri actually forgives Konis,” he snapped, the words filled more with hurt than anger.
“I have.”
Thana guessed nobody had mentioned to him yet that there had been an odd, small sort of reconciliation between the two of them. They still weren’t particularly on friendly terms, but the animosity and resentments of the past had given way to a quiet, wounded truce between them that let them occasionally exist in the same room without hostility that even bordered on civility at times.
He snorted at that. “Right.” He couldn’t believe anyone would forgive his mother. That had been, after all, a reason she kept ending up entirely alone.
“Guess I’m no better than she is though.”
He swallowed hard and kept his gaze on the ground. “Underworld,” he answered with a shrug. There was no point in lying. “After… After having to lock up the twins and seeing Britt hooked up to those machines… I just.. I couldn’t handle it. I shouldn’t have listened to her when she begged me not to take those two away because she thought she could fix them.” He laughed, but it was a bitter and broken sound.
“I couldn’t handle the guilt.”
“And you couldn’t have at least talked to me or Lyri about that before you ditched out? Shit, Tass, even a fucking letter would have been better than nothing!”
It was starting to become evident that Cam’s anger wasn’t even because Tassos had left, but the lack of answer why and the empty hole that had filled itself with questions and self-blame.
“You know how Ava stockpiles Hypnos’s dust?” He asked, the question seeming almost like a topic change. It wasn’t, but he was still trying to find out how to word it. “I was overdosed on that shit. Didn’t realize just how little was needed.”
“I swore to her that I wouldn’t do…this,” he answered, gesturing with his hands before crumpling again. “Cam punching me in the face sure felt like hate.”
But he knew he had deserved that and more. He would never really hold it against any of them if they hated him or never wanted to see him again. “I lost everything and nothing is going to fix that.”
“He hit you because he doesn’t know how to deal with how he’s feeling, but I can guarantee you that anger didn’t come from a place of hate. It’s just not who he is, believe me.”
Thanatos took a swig from the wine bottle before setting it down on the table in front of Tass.
“I’m not going to spin you some cliche about how time heals all wounds, but there is a little wisdom to that notion. I’ve been around for far longer than you have, and I can tell you that almost nobody has the stomach to hold a grudge forever. Especially not your sister or the personification of love himself.”
Tass shrugged at that, not sure how much he believed it. He knew Lyri had forgiven their mother, but he still hated her. Almost as much as he hated himself.
“Yeah, tell me that again when anyone other than Lyri actually forgives Konis,” he snapped, the words filled more with hurt than anger.
“Khaos…” How badly had that boy screwed Sera up that she would even remotely be okay with that deal? Tass wasn’t sure he wanted to know. “He doesn’t deserve deals.”
It was easier to feel anger over Chance than the mess of emotions he had over everything else. But he knew he couldn’t.
Still, learning that Manson was with Angelo made him smile faintly. “Angelo’s good for her.” He always had been. “Jett and Aella make sense anyway and of course Todd did. The kit’s got Lyri’s heart.”
“Maybe not, but I’m the wrong person to be talking to about that.”
Cam felt exhausted just existing in the same space as Tass, the confrontation of everything he’d been trying to bottle up and ignore for so long taking every ounce of energy he had not to lash out again.
“You still haven’t explained where the fuck you’ve been or why you left us.”
He swallowed hard and kept his gaze on the ground. “Underworld,” he answered with a shrug. There was no point in lying. “After… After having to lock up the twins and seeing Britt hooked up to those machines… I just.. I couldn’t handle it. I shouldn’t have listened to her when she begged me not to take those two away because she thought she could fix them.” He laughed, but it was a bitter and broken sound.
“I couldn’t handle the guilt.”
It was a little strange to see his father looking so…normal, but he didn’t question it. Everything had changed while he was passed out and he was having trouble wrapping his head around everything.
“Cam hates me.. I don’t even want to know how much worse Lyri hates me,” he mumbled, sinking down onto the couch and burying his face in his hands.
“Lyri hasn’t got it in her to hate you. You know that. Eros hasn’t either, not really, but you broke their hearts, so of course, they’re going to be upset. Give them both some time though. They’re still healing and opening up those wounds is going to make them a little raw again for a while, but be patient and let them decide what they want.”
Thana saw no point in trying to sugar coat things, not that he was any good at doing so anyway, but he figured what his son needed was honesty right now, even if the truth hurt.
“I swore to her that I wouldn’t do…this,” he answered, gesturing with his hands before crumpling again. “Cam punching me in the face sure felt like hate.”
But he knew he had deserved that and more. He would never really hold it against any of them if they hated him or never wanted to see him again. “I lost everything and nothing is going to fix that.”
ofviolentdeath 