Her eyes rolled. “Some things
can’t be fixed. Why don’t you go try to get Wil to get her shit together. She
might actually stand a chance.”
“Because she would shoot me and I don’t really want to be shot.” It was just a fact with Willow. The girl was too much like Valencia with her trigger finger. “Besides, you’re cuter.”
“I’ve got a couple’a talents,” she answered, a
slight smirk on her lips that vanished at Luna’s next statement. She gagged at
the thought. “Even I couldn’t look past somethin’ like that so thank god he’s
got some sorta boundaries.”
“Hmmm, maybe you should show me.” She wiggled her brows suggestively, not caring if Callie hit her for it. “Grandma still defends him a little. Says him and Tru hooking up ended up being a good thing. My family is fucking weird.”
“I swear.” There was no hesitation to those two words. He never wanted to leave again, not after seeing the hell he had put them all through. Ther was no way he was ever going to risk that again, especially not if there was some slim chance of being able to mend what he had broken.
“If you do, I’m gonna hunt your ass down and drag you back,” he warned, but there was a small, relieved laugh behind it that surprised even him, but he meant it; there was no way in hell he was going to let any of them go through any of that again as long as there was breath in his body.
“Like I’d put up a fight,” he returned, a faint smile trying to grace his lips. He had meant that promise just as surely as he meant those words. This is where he belonged and, if nothing else, running had definitely given him a good reminder of that.
Tass closed his eyes tightly, fighting back a fresh wave of sobs. It was something small that he could hold onto, a small beacon of hope.
“I never stopped loving you or her or Kat. Not for a single second. I could never stop loving you.”
It wouldn’t make Tass feel any better to tell him that if he’d just stayed, or even told them where he was going, they might have believed that, but the sudden disappearance without a single word and the subsequent decades in the dark had let that doubt creep in.
“Promise me you won’t leave again. Not without talking to me first.” he whimpered, needing the reassurance as well as making damn sure Tass knew he had another option if he ever needed it.
“I swear.” There was no hesitation to those two words. He never wanted to leave again, not after seeing the hell he had put them all through. Ther was no way he was ever going to risk that again, especially not if there was some slim chance of being able to mend what he had broken.
His hands curled into Cam’s shirt tight enough to mottle the skin on his knuckles. The fear of being pushed away was too high for him to think past it properly, but he was trying.
“After everything with all the kids and all the pain.. I thought you’d hate me for not stepping in sooner,” he confessed, hating the way his voice cracked on those words.
“I can’t hate you. Believe me, I fucking tried for a while, but I was only angry because I couldn’t stop loving you.”
He was almost sobbing again, but he’d just about cried all he was able to for now with exhaustion wracking his body.
“I missed you so much, and I was scared, not just because Lyri was barely holding on, but because I wasn’t doing much better.”
Tass closed his eyes tightly, fighting back a fresh wave of sobs. It was something small that he could hold onto, a small beacon of hope.
“I never stopped loving you or her or Kat. Not for a single second. I could never stop loving you.”
Tass reacted to the nuzzle, returning the gesture without hesitation. While he didn’t like the layers of clothing between them, he knew better than to push for anything right now. He had no right to even ask.
“I didn’t know that was a side effect of the dust,” he choked out, the realisation almost like salt in an open wound. He never would have gone that route had he known.
Cam hugged him tighter, partly to comfort Tass, but also to try to hold back the stab of emotion that reared up again in that moment. All the things he’d been angry about over the years were for nothing, and now he was struggling to let go of those feelings because he’d almost forgotten what it was like to live without them.
“I wish you’d stayed and just talked to me instead. I could have helped you,” he mumbled sadly. “But I know what it’s like when you can’t see a way out so you look for the quickest option in panic.”
His hands curled into Cam’s shirt tight enough to mottle the skin on his knuckles. The fear of being pushed away was too high for him to think past it properly, but he was trying.
“After everything with all the kids and all the pain.. I thought you’d hate me for not stepping in sooner,” he confessed, hating the way his voice cracked on those words.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated voice muffled as he pressed his face against Cam’s shoulder. What else could he do or say? All he wanted was to fix things and go home.
It was hard to focus on anything outside of Cam. He had been so touch starved that he had forgotten just how much he needed physical contact. Even Lyri could barely touch him right now. “I’m sorry I messed everything up.”
“I know you are. I know you didn’t mean for any of this.” he sighed, nuzzling at him cautiously but still acknowledging that he could feel how much Tass regretted everything.
“I spent so long asking why, and then when I couldn’t feel you anymore, I didn’t know if it was just because you didn’t want to be found or if something had happened to you. Not knowing was the worst part.”
Tass reacted to thw nuzzle, returning the gesture without hesitation. While he didn’t like the layers of clothing between them, he knew better than to push for anything right now. He had no right to even ask.
“I didn’t know that was a side effect of the dust,” he choked out, the realisation almost like salt in an open wound. He never would have gone that route had he known.
“I don’t know how to fix this,” he mumbled, his desperation creeping into his voice once more. All he wanted was for things to be okay. But he couldn’t even look in a mirror without wanting to put his fist through his own reflection.
“I know.”
Cam didn’t have an answer either, but he was trying at least, mostly because he was trying his hardest not to think too much and just let his heart make decisions for a while so that his instincts could tell him what he really wanted, and so far, the main thing he seemed to be craving was just to feel Tass again.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated voice muffled as he pressed his face against Cam’s shoulder. What else could he do or say? All he wanted was to fix things and go home.
It was hard to focus on anything outside of Cam. He had been so touch starved that he had forgotten just how much he needed physical contact. Even Lyri could barely touch him right now. “I’m sorry I messed everything up.”
He nodded but didn’t dare look up. He didn’t want to see the anger in Cam’s beautiful eyes again. He couldn’t handle it in the moment.
“I.. I didn’t know how long I was gone,” he confessed quietly, feeling so much worse for that.
Cam had figured as much after Tass had told him that he overdosed on Hypnos’s sleeping powder, but only after he’d had some time to calm down after their last meeting.
“Honestly, I don’t wanna talk about that anymore.” he murmured. He understood the situation now, but the pain and resentment still needed to be overcome. “I’ve been over it so many times and I’m tired. I just wanna figure out how to stop feeling like this, okay?”
“I don’t know how to fix this,” he mumbled, his desperation creeping into his voice once more. All he wanted was for things to be okay. But he couldn’t even look in a mirror without wanting to put his fist through his own reflection.
She nodded at that, wanting
him to stick around, but knowing when someone needed space. “I ain’t keepin’ ya
here. But, uh,” she smiled, fangs showing briefly before it was back to her
practiced, human smile. “Just know ya got some friends ‘round here if ya need
‘em.”
“Lady, no offense, but I’m sleeping on park benches. Don’t got friends no where,” he grumbled, the sight of the fangs more than a little unnerving. The last thing he wanted to be, well, the second to last thing, was someone’s easy meal.
ofviolentdeath 