“So it’s an infinity sized tip then?” He’d noticed, but he was of the opinion you still tip, he’d definitely fucked with enough people for not tipping or dropping trash into his case. “But I don’t do the math thing, so who knows if that means anything.” He knew it probably didn’t. “And if you don’t want me to take my money i’m not exactly going to argue with you. Over kids movies and pop music, sure, over my money? Probably not.”
Her parents didn’t even bother to charge rent to the people that stayed here long term. The only real stipulation was that they help out around the property during their stay and she couldn’t remember anyone having issue with that. “You might be the weirdest person to come through those doors.”
The words made him wince, but what else could he do? He couldn’t take back what had happened, no matter how much he wished he could.
“I know,” he mumbled, feeling, if possible, worse just to hear Cam say that.
“I still need you.”
The confession came through gritted teeth, clearly hard for Cam to admit out loud, especially up against his anger and inability to forgive just yet, but it was a start. He’d spent so long in grief and rage that he’d become so raw on the inside, but he couldn’t fix that by pushing Tass away when it was the longing for him that was causing it.
The silent tears gave way to heavy sobs at that. All he wanted was to fix things. To have his home and his family back. It was the only reason he had forced himself to leave the Underworld once he was really awake.
“I need you too,” he choked, the words almost getting stuck in his throat.
Tass tucked himself around Cam as best as he could, but the angle wasn’t the best. Not that it really mattered when he didn’t want to let go. Not if this could be the last time he got to be this close. Not when he was still certain he had lost everything.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he mumbled, over and over until the words bled together. What else could he say? He wanted so badly to tell him he still loved him and Kat and Lyri, but he couldn’t make the words come out.
Cam didn’t need to hear the words to feel the level of regret Tass had, or how horrified and upset he was that he’d been gone so long, and in a way, Cam felt sorry for him, knowing exactly how it felt from his own experience.
He wished he had some way to show him how much he hurt too, but talking wouldn’t be enough, and he couldn’t be sure that he could keep from lashing out again even if he tried.
“I needed you…” he barely managed to whimper, a bite of how betrayed he’d felt seeping into his tone.
The words made him wince, but what else could he do? He couldn’t take back what had happened, no matter how much he wished he could.
“I know,” he mumbled, feeling, if possible, worse just to hear Cam say that.
The harder Cam cried, the tighter Tass held him until he wasn’t sure if he was trying to comfort him or if Cam was just the only solid thing in the world at that moment. Everything still hurt, but gods he had needed this closeness. It almost didn’t matter if it never happened again, not right then. All that mattered was the man in his arms and just how much Tass had missed him.
The whole thing was bittersweet. Cam hated himself for the way he ached for this. He felt pathetic and weak for giving in to it so easily, but he wasn’t able to hold on to grudges any more than Lyri could.
It hurt so much he couldn’t stand it. Part of him still needed for Tass to understand just exactly how much he was hurting still, but even the slightest touch had him rushing back like an addict to a fix and the anger at himself for it made him unsure if he wanted to punch or kiss Tass in that moment.
Tass tucked himself around Cam as best as he could, but the angle wasn’t the best. Not that it really mattered when he didn’t want to let go. Not if this could be the last time he got to be this close. Not when he was still certain he had lost everything.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he mumbled, over and over until the words bled together. What else could he say? He wanted so badly to tell him he still loved him and Kat and Lyri, but he couldn’t make the words come out.
As soon as he saw Cam break, Tass was closing the distance between them. Instinct overrode guilt and he wrapped himself around the other, clinging just a little. He had never been able to see those he loved cry without reaching for them. But he wasn’t able to hold back his own tears this time and he buried his face against Cam’s shoulder.
The physical contact only made Cam cry harder as his body remembered how it felt to be pressed against the man he’d been so in love with before everything went to shit. Even after half a century, he instantly found himself habitually burying his face in the other males hair and breathing in his scent.
He still couldn’t completely relax though. Just because his senses were telling him this was real, Cam couldn’t shake the fear that Tass wouldn’t stay and he’d be heartbroken all over again.
The harder Cam cried, the tighter Tass held him until he wasn’t sure if he was trying to comfort him or if Cam was just the only solid thing in the world at that moment. Everything still hurt, but gods he had needed this closeness. It almost didn’t matter if it never happened again, not right then. All that mattered was the man in his arms and just how much Tass had missed him.
“Oh…” The word was soft, a little shocked and terribly confused. Tass braced himself, ready for another argument or for Cam to take a swing at him again. After all, why else would he be there?
Truth be told, the moment Lyri had noticed how much Tass returning was affecting Cam, she’d tried to coax him around to letting go of his anger, if only for his own sanity, and for the most part, knowing that Tass hadn’t actually meant to be gone so long had finally sunk in, making it so much harder for Cam.
Cam could sense that Tass was waiting for him to launch into another tirade, but it never came. Instead, Cam’s whole body sagged as he burst into tears and started weeping uncontrollably.
As soon as he saw Cam break, Tass was closing the distance between them. Instinct overrode guilt and he wrapped himself around the other, clinging just a little. He had never been able to see those he loved cry without reaching for them. But he wasn’t able to hold back his own tears this time and he buried his face against Cam’s shoulder.
He closed the door behind Cam slowly, almost like he was afraid that the other would turn around and walk back out. But still he said nothing as he stood there and fidgeted a little, fingers tugging at the sleeves of the old dress shirt he was wearing.
“Dad’s not home,” he finally managed, figuring Cam hadn’t come to see him.
“I didn’t come to see him,” Cam confessed, the words whispered and catching in his throat.
He wanted to yell and scream at him again, but he was too damn tired of feeling angry and it just kept things going around in circles, especially when his anger had started to turn inward now, and that was what had been keeping him awake at night.
“Oh…” The word was soft, a little shocked and terribly confused. Tass braced himself, ready for another argument or for Cam to take a swing at him again. After all, why else would he be there?
Tass didn’t know what to do other than to move from the doorway. If Cam wanted to come in, that was on him. He wasn’t going to force the issue and he didn’t know what to say. What could he possibly say that he hadn’t already?
Cam hesitated for a moment, but standing outside seemed redundant now he was here, and going home wasn’t going to fix anything when all he could think about was Tass being back and how he felt like he needed to do something.
He bit the bullet and walked inside, still no idea what he was going to do or say, but something inside him needed to be there and he couldn’t shake that feeling even though he didn’t know what or why it was.
He closed the door behind Cam slowly, almost like he was afraid that the other would turn around and walk back out. But still he said nothing as he stood there and fidgeted a little, fingers tugging at the sleeves of the old dress shirt he was wearing.
“Dad’s not home,” he finally managed, figuring Cam hadn’t come to see him.
ofviolentdeath 