mythsandmonsters:

“Maybe, but I don’t want anyone else.”

It was both an easy and a hard thing to admit. Easy in that he knew Jeff liked hearing him say that, especially at his worst, and hard because of why, and for that, he didn’t even know if Jeff was aware of the reason behind it, but Ollie had been afraid to bring it up and talk about it.

When they’d gotten back to the better room and Ollie was laid down again, which helped ease some of the pain in his head at least, he reached his hand out, indicating he wanted Jeff there with him.

“You shouldn’t want me though,” he countered softly, the anguish over hearing him say that obvious as he looked away once more. 

Jeff knew Ollie wasn’t going to stay in bed and rest if he left again, so he settled on the far end of the bed. Near but not close enough to touch. He couldn’t bring himself to curl up with him, not when he knew he damn sure didn’t deserve to have the comfort that the closeness would bring.

mythsandmonsters:

“I don’t wanna be alone,” he mumbled, the words caught up in an exhausted breath as he tried to force even the faintest smile but it didn’t make it past the pain he was clearly in.

“My head hurts and I don’t feel so good. Please don’t leave me?”

He moved to help Ollie up and back to the better bedroom. It was warmer there and he didn’t need Ollie actually getting ill on top of everything he had done to him. 

“You deserve better than me..”

mythsandmonsters:

For the briefest moment before he reached the door of the other bedroom, Ollie realised he had a clear shot at the cabins front door and what might lay beyond it, but with how much it took out of him just to make it this far, Ollie doubted he’d get more than a few feet away from the place before he either collapsed or Jeff caught him, so he abandoned the thought entirely.

He grabbed the door handle, struggling to grip it enough to turn it for a few seconds, the mechanism a little stiff from age and inadequate lubrication. Giving up, he slumped heavily against the door, making a thumping sound as he tried to rest a moment before he made another attempt to open it.

The sound of Ollie hitting the door startled him enough to stop the sobs for a few moments, the need to take care of the other overriding it. He shouldn’t have gotten out of bed and Jeff was cursing himself for everything all over again as he crossed the room and opened the door slowly.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed…”

mythsandmonsters:

It took all the effort Ollie had to get up, the ache throughout his body paling in comparison to the sharp jolt in his head as he moved a little too quickly and it took his breath away for a moment as he clutched at it, whimpering a little.

Slowly, he used whatever edges of furniture were available to hold onto as he finally got to his feet, stumbling slightly as he crossed the gap between the bed to the wall and leaned against it to keep him upright as he edged toward the door, out of the bedroom and down the hallway to the other one, pausing a couple of times when the surroundings seemed to tilt violently in his field of vision.

His hands were knotted into his own hair as he tried to level out his breathing, the crying having returned to deep, wrenching sobs. Honestly, he had tried to overdose before. Right after the first time he had really hurt Ollie, he had gone and collected every pill he could possibly find and downed them all. But all it did was make him puke before passing out. The next few days after were spent in a sicken daze, but he had survived and he knew that nothing of the sort would work.

mythsandmonsters:

Ollie hadn’t wanted him to leave him alone, and he cursed himself for being to hurt to say so fast enough to stop him leaving the room.

Beyond the pain and desolation, Ollie’s mind was a storm of confusion and torment. His basic survival instincts pleaded with him to try to run, as futile as it might be, especially with how injured he was, but something else wouldn’t let him, and it wasn’t the fear Jeff would track him down and kill him. Instead, the best he could do was force himself to get up and follow the other male. As frightened and hurt as he was, being alone always felt worse and he couldn’t bear it.

Jeff had settled himself on the edge of a nearly barren bed. It held one pillow and a thready blanket, the rest of the bedding was in the other room for Ollie. He hadn’t started to get bad until after he had gotten the place set up enough for at least a couple of nights and the fear of losing the other had gotten too deep. 

So caught up in muttering to himself, he never heard Ollie get up from the other room to follow him.